We have all had disappointments and losses. Many of us have experienced abandonment and betrayal.  We absorb many of these painful experiences, learn something and move on. Sometimes however, something happens that is so rough that we get stuck in it. The bad experience becomes a reference point for what we can expect form other people.  It starts to become a reference point for what we expect form other people, from ourselves and from life itself.  We find it very difficult to trust and to start out in neutral with new people.

Baggage- If you are carrying baggage from the past that is weighing you down, it may be possible for you to learn how to sort out what doesn’t serve you and leave it behind. If you can be easily triggered into an excessive reaction, this could be a clue that you have not left behind your past.

Really getting over it- Some people in your life may tell you to “Get over it.” They get impatient that you can’t just “move on.” They don’t see blood coming from your body, so they assume that your wounds are somehow not that substantial. They are under the illusion that “time heals all wounds.” Time does not heal wounds. Time gives us an opportunity to heal our wounds. If we do not process what has happened to us then time just scars over wounds. The past keeps creeping into the present. Really getting over it means coming to grips with it. One of the most powerful tools to really get over it is to retell your story the way it should be, as heroic survivor instead of as victim.  Really getting over it returns you to an consciousness of dignity and safety.

I use EMDR to help relieve you of your baggage and really get over it. For more on this, please see the section on EMDR For Trauma Recovery.