Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

This week: a project manager who makes $118,000 per year and spends some of her money this week on grasshopper tacos.

Occupation: Project manager
Industry: Environmental consulting
Age: 34
Location: Boston, MA
Salary: $118,000, plus approximately $150,000 in rental income.
Assets: $45,000 in cash savings; $100,000 in HYSA; $20,000 for my car (which I bought with cash); $850,000 in equity for my house (which I bought with cash); $4,000,000 in rental property investments; $2,000,000 in land and mineral rights investments; $7,500,000 in business investments; $3,500,000 in various investment accounts.

Early in my career, I worked for a small venture fund. I started as an executive assistant with one of the main VCs but was later promoted to operational consultant. My job was basically to help investigate struggling investments and find ways to make them more sustainable — both financially and environmentally. I negotiated my contract to include fractional equity shares in the investments I worked with. Once the fund’s ROI reached a certain percentage, my shares increased proportionally. For example, if I started with a 1/4 fractional share at 1% ROI, my share doubled to 1/2 share at 2% ROI. It worked out well and almost all of the investments had successful exits (i.e. were purchased or IPO’d) so my shares cashed out. I do still retain equity in a couple of businesses from that time that I transferred into a larger fund. 

I used that money to invest in a few small businesses — a green-tech company, a healthcare company, a sustainable fashion brand, an art house, and a social sustainability brand — all of which have done well, and I reinvest the profits right back into the businesses. I also invested in some real estate: I have a few rental properties that I rent at below market (for what the market rate should be; I still make a fine profit without bankrupting anyone) and have about 10,000 acres of land in the middle of nowhere that I bought so that no one could build on it (lol). I don’t make money from this, but I do have a long-term lease set up with blocks for cow and horse pastures, as well as a community farm, to help prevent developers from moving in and claiming it as abandoned. My investment portfolio also currently includes a $1,000,000 holding for an endowment fund for an arts-centered, needs-based scholarship. I’ve been trying to get this out of my hands for over a year, but some anti-DEI group threatened the organization I was working with so now it’s sitting in a separate account waiting for those anti-DEIers to get a new hobby.
Debt: $1,750
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $3,200
Pronouns: She/they

Monthly Expenses
Monthly Housing Costs: I bought my house with cash, so no mortgage, but my homeowners insurance is around $200 a month.
Monthly Loan Payments: $250
All Other Monthly Expenses:
Cell Phone: $65 ($115 total, but company reimburses $50.)
Internet: $0 (fully covered by my company)
Disney/Hulu/ESPN: $0 (included in phone plan)
Netflix: $25 (my younger siblings mooch)
HBO: $3.99 (This was a promo rate that I’ll be cancelling next month.)
Peloton: $39
Gas/Electric: around $200/month (pricing is very seasonal here)
My Prescription: $6
Dog Prescriptions: $123 (every three months)
Chewy: $65 (dog food)
Mika & Sammy’s: $100 (dog treats; every two months)

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, but I didn’t. My parents made me give up my dream school in favor school closer to home. I have ADHD and personally thrive when I have no safety net and loads of independence, so this really messed with me. I ended up dropping out and quickly moved across the country to dive into the working world instead. I do, however, have certifications equivalent to two bachelor’s degrees and two master’s degrees in my field (ESG and auditing). It may not be the right path for everyone, but for me it meant no student loan debt, plus a four-year lead on job experience and salary compared to my peers.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Confusing and horrible ones? My dad was the sole earner and made enough for our family of seven to be considered upper-middle class, however my dad grew up poor and my mom grew up wealthy, so their views on money were very different. I won’t go into the ugly details, but their differing views meant there was a lot of fighting and a lot of telling us kids either opposing or negative things about money. This led to a lot of anxiety about money and I was terrified to ask for any.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was at a store in a mall when I was 15. I made balloon animals for $1 apiece and made a lot of money in tips. I also walked dogs in my neighborhood and worked in a school uniform store that same summer. All that money went into savings and summer activities so that I didn’t have to ask my parents for anything. Since I was 15, the longest I have been unemployed was for two months, which was when I moved across the country with my partner for his new job.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Yes and no. Logically, I knew that my dad made enough money that we didn’t have to worry, which is a very privileged position to be in. However, due to the aforementioned differing views on money between my parents, and the fighting, I always had an underlying anxiety that we would lose everything or suddenly not be able to afford basics.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes and no. Lol. I have been both very strategic and very fortunate with my money, so I know that I have what I need. But that underlying childhood anxiety hasn’t gone away and with the way the US is these days… I certainly fear it could all be gone in the blink of an eye.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
When I first moved out at 18 I became responsible for all expenses except for health insurance (I was on my dad’s until I was 26).

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
No.

Day One

6:30 a.m. — Alarm goes off. Immediate snooze.

7:15 a.m. — FINE. My alarm has gone off every nine minutes since 6:30 a.m. It’s Monday. Need I say more? Head to the bathroom for my morning routine — most days I just throw on some sunscreen, but I have an on-camera call today, so I add some mascara and blush, then braid my hair. I head downstairs for my daily Wellbutrin (taken for ADHD) and a homemade prebiotic juice (apple cider vinegar, ginger juice, lime juice, lemon juice, apple juice, pineapple juice, and sparkling water.) Then it’s time to log online for work where I spend some time putting together a presentation for a meeting this morning. I briefly step away to brush my teeth after I finish my juice.

11 a.m. — Meeting over and time for lunch! I eat early most days because I don’t eat breakfast. Today’s lunch is leftover Trader Joe’s orange chicken with fried rice. Yum. I take it back to my desk to eat. My team is ahead of schedule on our current project, so I spend some time reviewing the most recent updates. It’s in great shape! I make a few edits and leave a few notes, then send it off for a second senior QA to review.

4 p.m. — Done with work and time to pack: I’m heading to Santa Fe this week for SWAIA, the first US Indigenous Fashion Week. I should have packed yesterday but when I finally felt motivated my dog gave me cuddles. What’s a girl to do? I pack, unpack, then repack while making a list of what’s in my bag. The anxiety that I’ll forget something is real. While I’m packing, my partner, X., comes home and works out on the Peloton in my office.

6 p.m. — After a quick walk with X. and our dog, B., we decide to grill — steak and chicken. X. works from an office, so he’ll take leftovers all week for lunch. I throw together a quick side salad with lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers, croutons, and yogurt-based Caesar dressing. X. watches TV and I read while we eat, then I get a message that pre-sale tickets are open for a Star Wars-themed burlesque show that’s running later this summer. I snag two tickets in the front. $190.46

8:45 p.m. — Time to get ready for bed. I use Peach & Lily products: Gel Cleanser, Good Acids Toner, Glass Skin Refining Serum, Pure Beam Luxe Oil, and Ultra-Plush Rich Cream. I have thick, butt-length hair and tonight I spend a few extra minutes brushing it with a Boards hairbrush with a few drops of Virtue hair oil. When I’m done, I braid it, wrap it up, brush my teeth, then head to bed where I read until I fall asleep.

Daily Total: $190.46

Day Two

6:30 a.m. — Lay in bed after my alarm goes off, pondering all of life’s big questions, like: Why do I set my alarm for 6:30 a.m. when I won’t get up until 7 a.m. and I only have to walk 20 feet to my office?

7:15 a.m. — No on-camera calls, so just sunscreen today. Head downstairs for my meds and today’s prebiotic juice, which is the same as yesterday but with cara cara orange juice instead of pineapple. Contemplate making a coffee, but I need to leave for the airport at like 2 a.m. and I want to try to sleep a bit beforehand, so I decide against it. I brush my teeth after I finish my juice.

11:30 a.m. — My younger sibling texts me that they’ve aced their final! I venmo them $50 to celebrate with as they wish. My parents share expenses for my younger siblings, but I like to treat them sometimes because I remember what it was like to be young and broke. Then I eat some leftover chicken and make a quick Caesar salad for lunch. PTO starts tomorrow and my brain has fully entered vacation mode. Since my team is ahead of schedule on our project, I don’t have anything but busy work left to do and I don’t wanna. Blurg. $50

1:30 p.m. — Catch up with a team member who just returned from a two-week vacation. The team covered her tasks, so there’s nothing for her to catch up with but I fill her in on the project status and then we discuss some tasks she can take on while I’m out.

4 p.m. — Out of office response on, computer off! I carefully pack my jewelry for the trip in individual boxes and then into my carry on. After, I jam out to Cowboy Carter while making turkey tacos for dinner. Once food is eaten and the kitchen is cleaned up, X. and I take B. for a walk, then X. turns on a show while I start downloading books on my Kindle for my flights.

6 p.m. — Text my dad to lock down dates for his visit at the end of the month. He’s changed the date on me four times already, but all within the same week (ugh). We finally settle on dates, so I text my younger sibling, who is also coming, to confirm. They’re in. Dad and his wife will stay at my house but my sibling will stay in a hotel down the street. They have a service dog that my dog doesn’t like, so I always set them up at a hotel. $826.92

7 p.m. — Do my nightly skincare routine early so that I can pack it all in my checked bag, which X. then carries downstairs and loads in the car for me. My dog sees the bag and gets curious, so I give him a zillion kisses and assure him that I’ll be back soon. I then brush my teeth and try my best to fall asleep since I need to be up at 2 a.m. to leave for my flight.

Daily Total: $876.92

Day Three

8 a.m. — Ugggghhhhhgggghhhh. I got up at 2 a.m. to leave for my 5 a.m. flight; mascara, sunscreen, and a zillion kisses for my dog then I was out the door! There were a ton of road closures on my way to the airport and it took me about 20 minutes longer than it should have to get there. Fortunately, I have first class tickets and pre-check, so I skipped all the long lines, but I forgot to grab my juice this morning, so I don’t have my water cup. Ugh. I grab an outrageously priced bottle of water then it’s time to board. I’m asleep before take off and wake up a few hours later to the flight attendant getting breakfast orders. I pre-ordered mine: vanilla yogurt with toasted oats and fresh fruit. I order a club soda and settle in with my Kindle for the rest of the flight. $5.13

10 a.m. — Land for a short layover in Dallas. I refill the water bottle I got in Boston, then grab a Topo Chico and a bagel before heading back to my gate. $13.46

11:30 a.m. — Land in Albuquerque. Head to the rental car pick up — this is a “treat yo’self” trip so I upgraded to a luxury vehicle. I enjoy a little New Mexico sunshine while I wait. $556.31

12 p.m. — My mom’s flight doesn’t land for another one and a half hours, so I head to a local coffee shop. I order an iced oat milk latte and an oatmeal cookie ($13.50 with tip) and settle in with my Kindle. I’m a couple of big sips in when I start having painful stomach cramps and need an emergency trip to the restroom. I haven’t had dairy in years, but quickly recognize what’s happened and realize they must have used dairy milk in my coffee. I’m terrified of being a Karen, but… I did basically just get poisoned. I take my drink back to the register and politely explain what happened. The girl at the register grabs a fresh straw to try my drink and her eyes go huge. I can’t taste the difference but I guess she can. She is super apologetic and offers a full refund plus a new coffee. I take the refund (which I drop back in their tip jar) but decline the coffee in favor of a lemonade and a couple of bottles of water. Then I head back to the airport to get my mom and we settle in for the drive to Santa Fe. $13.50

3 p.m. — We arrive at the hotel — which Mom paid for with points — change and head out to enjoy the Santa Fe weather while window shopping. We duck into a cute little wine bar and each order a white wine flight and share a charcuterie board. The charcuterie is lovely but they give us the tiniest little drops of each of the sauces (honey, fig jam, and mustard) which is not enough for the amount of meat and cheese. The bill comes out to about $40. Mom pays. My family isn’t aware of my net worth. My mom is also wealthy (not as wealthy as me) and likes to treat her kids. I try not to fight her on it because it makes her happy, but I try my best to balance it out and make sure she knows that while I’m thankful for the things she buys me, I’m not hanging out with her for free stuff.

7:30 p.m. — After a bit more exploring, we’re both beat from traveling and head back to the hotel for a quick drink and some French fries. Mom pays again.

8:30 p.m. — Head back to our room; same nighttime routine and brush my teeth, then fall asleep almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.

Daily Total: $588.40

Day Four

6:30 a.m. — Uggghhh time zones are so annoying. I woke up SO many times and kept forcing myself back to sleep. I can’t get myself back to sleep, so I chug what’s left of my water then quietly sneak to the bathroom for a shower. I use Briogeo banana-coconut shampoo and conditioner which I brought with me, then I spray it with some Redken heat protectant my stylist recommended. A couple years ago I invested in a Dyson blowdryer and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made for my hair — due to the length and thickness, it used to take me over an hour to dry my hair and I needed a ton of extra products. Now, it takes about 30 minutes to dry to my hair with a large round brush. My mom is still not awake, so I put on my sunscreen, mascara, and blush then settle down to read for a while. She wakes up around 9 a.m. to get ready for the day.

10:30 a.m. — We head to a popular local spot for breakfast. Mom gets coffee, grapefruit juice and some sort of chilaquiles that looks like… Breakfast enchiladas? Not sure, but it smells good. I get blue corn piñon pancakes with a side of turkey bacon. The pancakes are SO good, but it’s way too much food for me. I pay for breakfast and then we head across the street to a spa where I booked us in for massages with CDB oil. $57.41

12:30 p.m. — That was the best massage I’ve ever had. Geez. My mom is also raving about how good it was and is worried that it was too expensive so she wants to pay. I assure her that this is her Mother’s Day gift and I’m paying for it, then run to check out while she’s getting dressed. She’s annoyed with me for paying, so I let her buy me a ginger lemonade and assure her that she can pay for dinner. $692.58

1 p.m. — We head over to Canyon Road for some shopping. I buy a super cute visor ($26.87) and my mom buys a sweatshirt. We wander down the road looking in at all the stores and galleries until it’s time for our dinner reservation. $26.87

5:15 p.m. — We’re at Sazon, a James Beard award-winning restaurant in Santa Fe. Mom gets a glass of wine and I get a virgin spicy prickly pear margarita. We order. Appetizers are duck skin tacos and bone marrow. Mom has sopa de amor and sea bass with green mole. My starter and entrée are salad de la casa and duck with apricot mole. Dessert is dulce sinfonia. They end up not having the duck skin tacos, so we decide to be adventurous and try the grasshopper ones. They are delicious. I’m not a fan of the bone marrow: The flavor is nice but the texture is ick. We try each other’s food and decide that it’s all delicious. The dessert is an avocado ice cream with sweet beet sauce and something else that has a sweet earthy taste. It’s lovely and light, but not something we’d order again. As promised, mom pays. Then we walk back toward our hotel through the historic area while window shopping.

7:45 p.m. — We grab a glass of wine at the hotel bar before heading to bed. Mom pays again. Tomorrow starts fashion week activities for us, so we head up to bed early. Same skincare routine and an extra layer of moisturizer for the dry air.

Daily Total: $776.86

Day Five

6:30 a.m. — Awake again. I don’t want to wake up mom so I sneak to the bathroom to get ready, then head downstairs to take an early morning walk. I grab a yuzu lemonade from the same spot as yesterday. I pay with a $10 bill and leave the change in the tip jar. This lemonade is also delicious, very tangy, not super sweet. I walk around for a little while before heading back to the hotel. I chill by the pool for a little bit and look for a place to eat. $10

10:30 a.m. — We drive over to Canyon Road for breakfast at the Tea House. Mom orders a tea latte and silog with tofu. I order an oat milk latte, lavender lemonade and Japanese fried chicken with a biscuit and mushroom gravy. I’m still a little coffee shy, so I take a tentative sip of the latte then switch to the lemonade for now. The lemonade is a little sweet for my tastes so I ask for an extra lemon to squeeze in it. Perfect. The food is phenomenal and the coffee does not make me sick (yay!). I check Google Maps to see what shops are around us and am elated to find a favorite Indigenous-owned shop, 4Kinship, is across the street. Mom pays for breakfast, I pay for parking. $10

12 p.m. — We spend about an hour in 4Kinship looking at everything (and shopping). The owner tells us about a show that they’re putting on after the SWAIA shows on Saturday. I’m super excited to see the list of performers includes James Jones (aka @NotoriousCree), a TikTok-famous pow-wow dancer who I’ve always wanted to see perform live, so I grab us a couple of tickets ($100.50). I get a cap, a T-shirt, a wrap belt, and a medicine bag for myself, plus a rainbow beaded medallion for my younger sibling who is trans and non-binary ($731.09). The owner lets me know that the maker of the medallion is a Two-Spirit spoken-word artist who will be performing at the event, which makes me extra excited. Mom buys a T-shirt, hat, two matching bracelets (one for me) and some beautiful earrings. She spends about $1,500. While spending like this is not the norm for me, I feel comfortable spending this much knowing it’s going to support Indigenous artists and an Indigenous-owned shop. $831.59

1 p.m. — We head over to the Museum of Indian Arts and Culture for an “All About Indigenous Fashion” symposium. I purchased these tickets a while back and am REALLY excited, as some of my favorite designers are going to speak. Tantoo Cardinal is also speaking today and I’m totally gassed to be this close to such a legend. Patricia Michaels is also speaking and they tell us a hilarious story about how Patricia brought way too many dresses for Tantoo to try at Cannes and how the beautiful hand-painted gown she ended up wearing was so huge that after the event they found a clothes hanger stuck in the crinoline. During one of the breaks my mom makes a friend! She just moved to Texas from Alaska, so they exchange contact info and make plans to meet up when they’re both back in Texas.

6 p.m. — We didn’t make dinner plans so we head into the square and put our names on the list for a local spot. While we’re waiting a man comes up, gets way too close to me and starts hitting on me. I’m instantly on edge and psyching myself up to scare him away (this is why the answer is always bear). Thankfully, the couple sitting on the bench across from us notice and the man comes over, distracts the guy, and walks him away from us. They’re waiting for a table at the same restaurant, so they walk over there with us to make sure he doesn’t come back. I’m very thankful. Mom and I share queso, fajitas, and each order a glass of white wine — chardonnay for her, sauv blanc for me. Mom pays for our meal, but I cover the Good Samaritan couple’s dinner as a thank you. $100

8 p.m. — After dinner, we walk back to the hotel and head to the bar for another glass of wine each. The Mavs 6 p.m. game is on so we end up watching for a bit before we head upstairs. We put the game on in our room while we get ready for bed. The Mavs win and I fall asleep shortly after.

Daily Total: $951.59

Day Six

7 a.m. — Same deal — I don’t want to wake up Mom, so I quickly get ready, then head over to the same little spot to get another lemonade (ginger this time). $10

10 a.m. — Mom is up, so we head over to Pasqual’s Cafe for breakfast. There’s a bit of wait, but it’s worth it. Mom gets huevos Motuleños, which has eggs, sautéed bananas, feta, green peas, a corn tortilla, and Christmas sauce (red and green sauce), plus a coffee and a grapefruit juice. I get a Mexican mocha with almond milk, a lemonade, and a beef cheek and asadero quesadilla. Everything is delicious. I’m only able to finish half of my mocha due to how rich it is, but it’s SO good. Mom pays, then we go to check out some shops we haven’t been to yet.

1 p.m. — We happen upon a shop that has a Ginew pop-up in it. Ginew is a Native American-owned jeans brand. Cherokee artist Mean Right Hook Designs is selling some of her earrings, which are gorgeous. We chat with the artist for a bit, then I end up buying a a pair of earrings ($150) and a Ginew T-shirt for X. ($69.40). We wander back towards the hotel and stop in at another shop, where mom buys us each some earrings — beaded stars for me and hoops with fruit on them for herself, very Carmen Miranda. We stop once more for yuzu lemonade, a cookie, and a sparkling water for mom. I pay ($20). $239.40

2 p.m. — We head over to the event space and it is bursting with Natives here to support the event and each other. Being around community is a type of comfort I miss from my daily life, so I soak up as much as I can and spend time chatting with others while we shop. Speaking of shopping… Mom buys a hat for me and a purse from herself from Wabanoonkwe, some earrings from Tiffany Vanderhoop, more earrings from Copper Canoe Woman, some skincare from N8v Beauty, and a ring from Kenneth Johnson. I buy a couple of T-shirts from Kenneth Johnson, a beautiful dress from Jillian Waterman, a ring and some lip glosses from Frybread Cosmetics, and try out some of N8v Beauty’s skin care. Then we head over to the first show, where we have front-row seats. While we’re in line, Tantoo Cardinal walks past us, slightly bumps into me, then gives me a quick apology touch and heads off. I swoon. $244.85

4 p.m. — Wow. wow. Wow! The first show was amazing. We saw Peshawn Bread, Penny Singer, Qaulluq, and Carrie Wood. All of the fashion was fantastic, but Peshawn Bread’s presentation, which opened the show, was AMAZING. I’ll remember this forever. There’s a break between shows so we head to La Boca for tapas. We get steak with caramel sauce, patatas bravas, paella and wine. Everything is delicious and mom pays.

5:30 p.m. — We head back for the second show, which features Dehmin Cleland, Helen Oro, Vividus by Tierra Alysia, and Patricia Michaels. Dehmin Cleland opens the show with lingerie, which was not expected. I LOVE it, they feature a lot of different body types and there are lots of booties and boobies out. Mom is a little squeamish with nudity and I can feel her squirming next to me, but she’ll get over it. The rest of the show is equally amazing and Tantoo Cardinal closes the show walking for Patricia Michaels. Once again, I’m just a few feet from a legend and mildly swoon again.

7 p.m. — We head to the 4Kinship show and HOLY CATS. I don’t think I can even describe how great this show is. The fashion is amazing and there are a ton of amazing performances: a hoop dance by ShanDien Sonwai LaRance, a spoken word performance by Kellen Trenal (who made the medallion I got for my sibling), a song by Nanibaah, a song by Lucas with dancing by Ty Metteba, an amazing dance by Raven Bright and Sarain Fox, and then, finally, James Jones recreates a viral dance of his and then pulls out his light up hoops for a hoop dance. I’m certain that my jaw was on the floor and that I did not blink for the whole show. Before we leave I catch up with a few acquaintances, then Mom and I, once again, hit the hotel bar for a glass of wine. Tonight we also get queso and French fries to share. Mom pays.

9:30 p.m. — We leave tomorrow, so once we’re back in the room we both start packing as much as we can, then we get ready for bed and are both asleep pretty quickly. Today was amazing.

Daily Total: $494.25

Day Seven

6:30 a.m. — Up early again, get ready, head out for lemonade. I grab my mom a coffee from the hotel on the way back (it’s free and she likes it). We decide to grab a quick breakfast at the hotel today. Mom gets a fancy omelette from the omelette bar, some breakfast potatoes, and a coffee. I have an aversion to eggs and basically everything is egg, so I grab some grapefruit juice, a couple of pieces of bacon, a piece of toast, and some fruit from the buffet. I’ll grab some more food at the airport. Mom pays for breakfast then we hop in the car to head back to Albuquerque for our flights home. $10

11 a.m. — We drop the car off, make it to the airport, and briefly separate to check our bags. Then we head to the food court where I grab some Panda Express — a guilty pleasure I haven’t had in years, as we don’t have it where I live. I get a bowl with chow mein and orange chicken and grab mom a side of fried rice. I eat about half of it then realize I don’t really like it anymore. Sigh. I hit the restroom, fill up my trusty water bottle, then it’s time for to head to our respective gates, so we hug and split up. I board and settle in with my Kindle. $15.07

1:30 p.m. — The flight attendant comes around to get lunch orders. I did not remember having a meal for this flight, but cool. I get a rice bowl with veggies, red rice, mixed greens, and ranch dressing. It’s pretty good. I order a soda water then settle back in with my Kindle for the rest of the flight.

5 p.m. — We land in Chicago where I have a layover and I turn my phone back on to the annoying news that my flight has been delayed from 6:20 p.m. to 7:45 p.m. Urgh. Last year my mom and I went to Albuquerque for Gathering of Nations and my return flight was delayed over five hours, then cancelled after they started boarding us (massive side eye, American Airlines). Because of that experience, I took an extra day of PTO tomorrow just in case, and I’m glad I did because this delay means I won’t land until close to midnight. I’m not super hungry, but decide it’s best to eat before my flight otherwise I’ll be ravenous when I get home in the middle of the night. I get a turkey sandwich, which is not great so I only eat about half, then run to the newsstand for a Topo Chico, a dark chocolate bar, and some SmartPop white cheddar popcorn. We’re five minutes to boarding and there’s no airplane. We finally take off another 45 minutes behind schedule. $22.75

12 a.m. — We land just after midnight. I’m exhausted and my brain is very confused from the time zone changes. I get my luggage and head to the car, then get home around 1 a.m., get soooo many puppy kisses, wash my face and fall asleep immediately.

Daily Total: $47.82

The Breakdown

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Cosmic beings, with the sun, Mercury, Venus, and Jupiter all in Gemini this week, we’re collectively being called to have fun setting our new moon intentions and opening up to the expansion that’s possible within and around us. When you think of the growth you want to make room for in your life, make sure it’s the type of growth that involves people in your community, and all around the globe. The recent new moon magic wants us to connect our individual healing and freedom to the collective liberation of every being on Earth. 

We’re in the pre-shadow phase of Saturn’s upcoming retrograde in Pisces — which begins June 29 — and there’s a likelihood that the planetary squares that Neptune in Pisces form with Venus and Mercury in Gemini could lead to us being overly optimistic and somewhat delusional regarding what’s possible to achieve this week. Whenever you start noticing yourself getting lost in your thoughts or daydreams without a solid idea of what you’re aiming for, take time to ground yourself with the help of Mars’ entrance in Taurus on June 9. 

Mars remains in Taurus for the next six weeks, encouraging us to slow our roll, assess what it means to live a soulfully aligned life, and courageously make the choices to live in accordance with our values. If you were putting pressure on yourself to go, go, go during Mars’ transit through Aries, you’ll notice yourself paying more attention to your body and what it’s asking you to do. For many of us, that means more rest. 

Read your horoscopes for your Sun and Rising signs for the most in-depth forecast.

Aries Sun & Rising:

Aries, this week you’ll feel like you made it through a milestone, as Mars wraps up its six-week journey in your sign on June 9. Its entrance into Taurus for the next month and a half is likely to be an auspicious time for you financially, but this is only possible if you allow yourself to be patient during this journey. Your money goals may not manifest with as much swiftness as you’d like, but that’s because the cosmos wants you to be more intentional about what financial security means to you and why. Your lesson during this transit is to not equate your self-worth with the amount of money in your bank account. Your wealth is beyond that. 

This is an ideal week for setting your intentions for the Gemini new moon that occurred last Thursday. Since this new moon activated your communication sector, you’re likely to feel a significant difference in the amount of freedom you have when it comes to how you choose to express yourself. Emancipation looks so good on you, and the more you embody it, the more you liberate others, too. 

Taurus Sun & Rising:

Taurus, your solar season may have come and gone, but we’ve now entered your prime action season. Mars, the Planet of Magnetism, enters your sign on June 9 and remains there for the next six weeks. This transit activates the part of you that knows how powerful they are, and that wants to let that power emerge. This may be a slow process initially, so pace yourself during your chrysalis period, and have fun visualizing what you’ll do with your new set of wings. 

The energy from last week’s Gemini new moon is still quite strong, and since this new moon activated your sector of money and self-esteem, you’ll feel a surge of dynamic energy when it comes to switching up your usual financial routine. You may feel struck by inspiration concerning new streams of income, and whatever new pathways you explore this week are likely to lead to you doubling your revenue streams within the next six months. The key is to avoid getting distracted by all the glitz and glam and focus on pursuing what you truly feel a full-body yes about. 

Gemini Sun & Rising:

Gemini, how are you feeling after your annual new moon? We have a stellium of planets in your sign right now, so while a part of you may be feeling magnetic and irresistible, another part of you may feel restless and overwhelmed at all the attention and buzz you’re generating. The key is to spend time with yourself, soothing your nervous system, and using Jupiter’s presence in your sign to redirect your energy and resources toward what you actually want to be doing. 

Now that Mars, the Planet of Action, is in Taurus for the next six weeks, one of your cosmic lessons is to set firmer boundaries and protect your energy. Instead of being too trusting of people swarming around you, take time to get to know them — both their light and their shadows. Be willing to explore and reveal your own dualities and contradictions, too. 

Cancer Sun & Rising:

Cancer, this week you’re still buzzing off the energy of last week’s Gemini new moon which stimulated the deepest and most introspective part of your soul. You may be feeling like a baby chick that’s just emerged from its shell… You are reborn internally and trying to adjust externally. With this new moon energy going strong until the 16th, you’re encouraged to write down what this rebirth means to you and feels like for you. If you’ve outgrown a part of your life that you’re usually known for, don’t be afraid to start over in search of what’s possible beyond previous categorizations. 

Mars’ presence in Taurus in your sector of friendship these next six weeks deepens your closest ties in a way that feels healing to your nervous system. Mars’ transit in Aries had you a bit on edge and overly focused on your career, but now you’re reminded of the power of cultivating a sense of presence and harmony in your life, which means doing less, with greater intention. This is the season you find out who you can truly count on. 

Leo Sun & Rising:

Leo, bet on yourself this week. With the Gemini new moon energy still coursing through the cosmos and activating your sector of friendship and social networks, the more you put yourself out there in a carefree and open-hearted way, the more likely you are to attract the opportunities divinely meant for you. You may even attract more than what you bargained for, so take time to clear out what’s no longer a vibrational match and make room for what is. 

The one caveat of this week’s forward momentum is that Mars, the Planet of Action, is in Taurus for the next six weeks, and Taurus energy squares off (creates astrological friction) with your Leo nature. This may make you feel more stubborn, combative, and temperamental than usual. Find a physical outlet that allows you to let go of all that pent-up energy in a healthy and sustainable way. 

Virgo Sun & Rising:

Virgo, now that the energy of last week’s Gemini new moon is getting increasingly strong, you’re feeling extra mercurial, especially when it has to do with envisioning what’s next for you professionally. You may be feeling pulled in several directions right now, and the perfectionist in you is being hard on yourself because you haven’t zeroed in on one set path. Stop trying to make that happen… It’s not gonna happen, babe. With Jupiter, the largest planet in our solar system, dominating the skies in Gemini, you’re being asked to embrace your multidimensional nature and give yourself permission to explore several possibilities, without limitation. 

At the same time, with Mars, the Planet of Action, entering Taurus on the 9th for a six-week stretch, your current life path may feel like a walking contradiction. One part of you wants to fly away and transform into someone new, and the other wants to feel grounded and safe doing and being what you already know. What if your process of transformation was more gradual rather than abrupt? What would that feel like? 

Libra Sun & Rising:

Libra, Libra, Libra. All this Gemini energy in the cosmos is bringing out your dangerous and free-spirited side. With your sector of expansion, long journeys, and publishing activated, you’re on the search to grow beyond your current circumstances. Take time to set your Gemini new moon intentions before June 16 and have fun imagining new places you could travel to, exciting subjects you could study and teach, books or films you could publish, and innovative beings you can meet. It’s time to soar beyond what you’ve always known. 

This may be easier said than done though, because with Mars beginning its six-week stretch through Taurus on the 9th, it could feel like you have one foot on the pedal and the other on the gas. Fortunately, since the south node is currently in your sign for another year, you’re likely to feel more connected to your inner realm and intuition, allowing you to trust your instincts during this transit and not overthink the process. Focus on being here now, and take your journey breath by breath. 

Scorpio Sun & Rising:

Scorpio, at the start of the week your planetary ruler Mars enters Taurus, shifting your attention from finding ways to be extra productive to finding ways to be extra loved on. Because whether you want to admit it or not, you’re deeply craving love right now, especially with Uranus in your partnership sector and the Gemini stellium activating your sector of depth, merging, and intimacy. Your sexual energy increases and becomes more palpable due to these transits, and your mission this week is to find healthy outlets for that fire rumbling within you. 

You may feel called to set new moon intentions that are spiritually profound this week — you have until the 16th to take advantage of last week’s Gemini new moon portal. When combined with Saturn’s upcoming retrograde in Pisces, this cosmic energy is likely to have you taking a trip down memory lane, thinking of the highs and lows of relationship(s) that marked and transformed you most. Rather than getting hung up on what once was, view it all as a learning and growing experience. 

Sagittarius Sun & Rising:

Sag, now that your ruler Jupiter is getting accustomed to its presence in Gemini, and that it’s conjoined with the recently new moon in Gemini, you may find yourself feeling more confident in your relationships — and more flirtatious, too. This is a great week for letting your hair down and enjoying the magic of connecting with people who love you when you’re most free. This is the season of finding your people and letting them know how much you appreciate their presence in your life. 

Speaking of presence, with Mars, the Planet of Action, now in Taurus for the next six weeks, a part of you may resist the slower pace that life suddenly seems to have, particularly after the fiery momentum of Mars’ transit through Aries. Get curious about where this resistance is coming from and why. Sometimes moving more slowly helps you become aware of careless mistakes and helps you avoid misunderstandings. View this transit as a blessing rather than a burden. 

Capricorn Sun & Rising:

Capricorn, as you enter this week, reflect on ways you can make your health and wellness routine more fun, adaptable, and adventurous. The recent Gemini new moon activated that sector of your life, and you have until June 16 to plant seeds of intention regarding how to switch up your usual work style and create more dynamic change in the way you serve yourself and others. You’re feeling tired of the same old ways of thinking and living, especially as we approach your planetary ruler Saturn’s retrograde in Pisces at the end of the month. This is a great week for reimagining the possibilities and stepping out of the box. 

Meanwhile, Mars’ transit through Taurus is here to guide you through any apprehensions you’re feeling regarding letting love in, particularly romantically. These next six weeks your sector of dating, creativity, and fate is activated by Mars in Taurus, encouraging you to take your time when cultivating intimate connections with people, while also remaining present and not projecting your relationship into an unknown future. This may not be easy at first, but with time you’ll start to cultivate greater faith in your ability to discern who has your best interest at heart and who’s worthy of your trust. 

Aquarius Sun & Rising:

Aquarius, your ruler Saturn is currently in its pre-shadow retrograde phase in your sector of money and self-esteem, so you may be feeling vulnerable when it comes to your finances and the direction in which you’d like to evolve these upcoming months. The energy from the recent Gemini new moon is supporting you making decisions in a group setting or with a partner you can count on rather than internalizing all this pressure and expecting yourself to figure things out solo. This is a great week for getting a mentor and letting go of the need to control every aspect of your life — tap into the freedom-oriented energy of Gemini season and go with the flow. 

However, this may feel easier said than done due to Mars’ presence in Taurus starting on the 9th. Taurus energy creates astrological friction with your Aquarius nature, which could lead to you bumping heads with people you don’t see eye to eye with. Avoid letting your ego or pride cause you to say or do things you’d later regret. Instead, consider venting to a close friend or therapist whenever you find yourself with a short fuse. Journaling or meditating in nature will also be a clarifying experience during this six-week transit. Remember to breathe. 

Pisces Sun & Rising:

Pisces, as you adjust to the energy of Gemini season, you’re invited to use Mars’ newfound presence in Taurus to explore creative pursuits or hobbies that have been on the back-burner most of this year. With Saturn, the Planet of Responsibility, preparing to begin its four-month retrograde in your sign at the end of the month, now’s the time to make sure you’re putting your own needs first and not sacrificing your joy for the sake of practical pursuits. Use the Gemini new moon portal (which lasts until the 16th) to vividly visualize where you’d like to be six months from now, and then reverse engineer your way to manifesting that intention. 

This week throws you out of your comfort zone by asking you to not fear speaking your truth, particularly with family members. Perhaps everyone is used to you accommodating their needs or not rocking the boat, but having the sun, Mercury, Venus, and your ruler Jupiter all in Gemini in your sector of roots and the home indicates that you’re ready for a significant change in your domestic sector. Don’t expect people to read your mind — let them know exactly how you feel, and make room for them to reveal their feelings too. Reciprocity and a healthy exchange of energy is key. 

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It only takes a few minutes into The Watchers for any horror-movie buff to figure out that the film is influenced by the work of one of the genre’s greats. The new thriller, in theaters June 7, follows Mina (Dakota Fanning), a 20-something emotionally damaged American living abroad, whose work errand takes an unexpected — and seriously creepy — turn when she finds herself alone and lost in the woods of rural Ireland. But, as Mina and viewers quickly discover, she’s far from the only person — or thing — in the forest. Because the woods don’t just hold secrets, but something far more sinister: an unseen, unknowable, entity lurking beyond the fog. 

Sound familiar? Ishana Night Shyamalan is probably betting on that. The Watchers director, in her solo directorial debut, has taken into account the fact that her last name will probably garner some comparisons to her famous father — horror director M. Night Shyamalan — not to mention the pressure that comes with having an instantly recognizable last name and expectations to live up to.

“It’s something that I consider and have considered every day in the process,” Ishana Night Shyamalan tells Refinery29. “I was very afraid of what those implications would be and if I would be judged.” 

Some young people from a famous family might be intimidated by legacy and everything that comes with it (CC: imposter syndrome, being underestimated by people on the internet who don’t even know you). For this 24-year-old though, the pressure is more akin to a lighter and has sparked a fire in her belly. “Having something to prove when you walk into a room and a space is never a bad thing and makes you work harder and makes you want it more,” she says.

For Shyamalan, The Watchers not only gives her the opportunity to both delight fans and disapprove haters, but also reveals her very specific creative voice through the arc of the movie. The first-time solo director has enjoyed averting expectations that her filmmaking is a copy-paste of her dad’s. “That’s kind of embedded into the movie; you’re going from a tone that feels somewhat familiar and then moving to a more expansive, experimental place,” she says. 

Still, there is a certain conversation to be had — and it has to do with nepotism. In 2022, the internet ignited a conversation around celebrity offspring benefiting from their famous families when it came to getting work and finding success in their industries. From Dakota Johnson (daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson) to Maya Hawke (Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke) to Maude and Iris Apatow (Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow), the kids of the previous generation of Hollywood stars have started making their own forays into the world of entertainment. The rise of “Nepo Babies” spread like wildfire: magazines made it the subject of every interview, Vulture coined 2022 “the year of the nepo baby,” and Hailey Bieber wore a baby tee cheekily embracing it. 

While Shyamalan wasn’t necessarily proudly sporting a scarlet “NB,” she’s also not entirely exempt from the nepotism debate. Shyamalan previously worked as an episodic director on her father’s Apple TV+ series Servant. With The Watchers, M. Night Shyamalan is an executive producer. Some might wonder if the box office film would have been greenlit if an established name wasn’t attached to it.

Missing from a lot of these conversations around nepotism in the industry though is that — especially in immigrant households — creating generational wealth that your children can benefit from and build upon is the ultimate goal for most parents. It also makes sense that children of Hollywood, who grew up spending time on movie sets, in music studios, and generally exposed to the industry at large at an early age, might develop a passion and similar interests to their parents’. And the conversation overlooks the fact that while there are famous families like the Smiths, the Kravitzs, and the Washingtons, nepo babies — as an extension of Hollywood itself — are still overwhelmingly white.

“That conversation [around nepotism] is a very gendered conversation,” Shyamalan adds. “We don’t really see those same words being put on men per se; it’s mostly a way to, at moments, invalidate young ladies.” Which is a fair assessment. In May, singer Lily Allen shared a similar sentiment, noting that she has been referred to as a nepo baby (her parents are British actor Keith Allen and film producer Alison Owen), while her brother, actor Alfie Allen (best known for playing Theon Greyjoy in Game Of Thrones), has not. Shyamalan’s solo writing and directorial debut should be celebrated as the accomplishment it is. Women of color still only account for 3.4% of all movie directors.

Shyamalan says she understands and acknowledges where the fear associated with nepotism — that those born into privilege get an easier road to success —  comes from. The privilege she and her two sisters have entering into creative fields is something they’ve talked about at home. But riding on the hopes, dreams, and hard work of her immigrant family, she says her focus is to only work even harder. “[My sisters and I] feel so incredibly lucky to have that immigrant narrative close to us,” Shyamalan says. “Seeing our grandparents’, and even our parents’ journey, is so wonderful to remember that you have to work for those things that you want.”  

“It’s very much about working as hard as I can and being as kind of a person as I can, and hopefully that comes through and speaks for itself,” she says.

Moving forward, the emerging director hopes to delve further into the fantasy-horror genre she loves — balancing her monumental legacy her father passed along, with stepping out of that shadow to cultivate her voice and leave her own mark.

Because she may have the name, the same job, and even be a devotee to the same genre as her dad, but Ishana Night Shyamalan is still her own person with a unique voice and different stories to tell. The one thing she’s proudly inheriting is sage wisdom honed from her time watching her father on set and throughout his career. “There’s [always] been a strong emphasis on enjoying the process of making the art most, that that comes to the center, that you can’t look for any kind of external validation,” Shyamalan says. “It can’t be about what comes on the other side, it has to be from the enjoyment and love of the art form first.”

So tune out the haters because the only opinion that really matters is yours. Now, that’s sound dad advice. 

The Watchers is in theaters June 7.

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Dress season is in full throttle, and we’re over the moon for all the latest summer trends featured in this season’s collections — upgraded tiered frocks, cascading ruffles, fit-and-flare minis, puffy sleeves, you name it. And one of our favorite destinations to pick up the latest effortless breezy, laid-back, and fashion-forward styles? Anthropologie. Year after year, the store offers a selection of dresses too good to pass up for summer vacays, weddings, and casual affairs. Warning: There’s a lot, so we’ve made it our mission to select the best Anthropologie dresses for you to shop.

We’ve scanned the site from top and bottom and selected our favorite styles in a rainbow of hues and lengths. Scalloped ivory minis, gingham print midis, and honeydew yellow maxis await ahead. Make some room in your closet (and your packing list) and scroll on.

All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

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As professional online shoppers, Refinery29 affiliate writers have a *spidey* sense for the best virtual sale sections and limited-time deals. Whether it’s Lululemon’s ol’ reliable We Made Too Much sale or a flash deal on best-selling skin-care brands — where there’s a clearance rack, there’s an R29 shopping editor sizing up its price-slashed goods. And today, we present to you the best sales happening this weekend, according to us.

The best sales and/or deals must meet at least one of the following criteria: The discount is applied to a Refinery29 reader-favorite item (according to our anonymous shopping data), and it either takes a minimum of 20% off the full price or it’s an item that’s rarely discounted, making a slightly smaller price slash still notable. TL;DR: The following sales are ones to watch and worthy of a spot in all budget-friendly carts — we mean, in our opinion.

All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

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Since 1995, the Bad Boys franchise has weaved together action-packed sequences, sharp humor, and the undeniable chemistry between Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence) and Mike Lowrey (Will Smith). Now, with the anticipation building for the fourth installment, Bad Boys: Ride or Die, I found myself eagerly awaiting a cinematic experience that promised nothing short of pure electrifying entertainment. And it delivered.

Imagine diving into the heart of Call of Duty: Black Ops, where every mission is a high-stakes gamble, and the line between ally and adversary blurs with each passing moment. This is the essence of Bad Boys: Ride or Die—a relentless thrill ride that keeps you on the edge of your seat from the opening scene to the final credits. Lawrence and Smith are at their finest, proving doubters wrong. Any concerns over whether Smith and Lawrence could deliver agile and realistic fight scenes despite their age are put to rest (this viral behind-the-scenes clip of Smith should also silence any concerns of his capability as an action star). This duo showcases a level of strength, power, and versatility that’s as impressive as ever. Their performances serve as a testament to their enduring talent and dedication to the franchise, reaffirming their status as iconic action stars.

Another concern that’s been buzzing around our timelines is whether the film would be overshadowed by the slap heard ‘round the world. This is Smith’s first major blockbuster role since his incident with Chris Rock at the 2022 Academy Awards. The truth is that, yes, people are talking about The Slap™ instead of Smith’s work. However, if folks are still fixating on that moment, they shouldn’t be. It’s time to take a step back and reassess which celebrity mistakes are seen as irredeemable, and which aren’t. There are plenty of other problematic figures out there who continue to receive support despite their questionable actions (alleged abusers Johnny Depp and Shia LaBeouf were just at the Cannes film festival and were met with less public outcry), making the focus on Smith’s Oscars moment, which was essentially just a defense of his wife, seem disproportionate in comparison. Smith shouldn’t be looped in with these controversial figures to begin with. Let’s not allow a situation from two years ago to cast a shadow over an exciting cinematic experience — or tarnish the legacy of one of our living legends. It’s time to shift the focus to the present and immerse ourselves in the excitement of this compelling story.

The truth is that, yes, people are talking about The Slap™ instead of Smith’s work [but] let’s not allow a situation from two years ago to cast a shadow over an exciting cinematic experience — or tarnish the legacy of one of our living legends.

The Bad Boys franchise is not exactly known for the strength of its storytelling (we’re here for the action, let’s be real) but this story is an improvement over the latest installment. In Bad Boys: Ride or Die, we’re thrust into the vibrant and treacherous streets of Miami, into the heart of the action alongside our dynamic duo, Marcus Burnett and Mike Lowrey. This time around, they’re on a mission to clear the name of their fallen captain, Conrad Howard, who’s been unjustly linked to the Romanian Mafia. As they delve deeper into the murky underworld, each decision they make leads them down a perilous path, forcing them to rely on their instincts and each other like never before.

But amidst the chaos and danger, an unexpected twist emerges: an old enemy becomes an unlikely ally, blurring the lines between friend and foe. This newfound alliance also tests Mike’s vulnerability as he discovers an unexpected common ground with someone he once considered an adversary. As the stakes escalate, our bad boys must navigate a web of deception and betrayal, trusting only in their own instincts to see them through to the end. To make it very clear: I was GAGGED from beginning to end! 

I truly enjoyed the comedic timing that remains impeccable in this installment, delivering joyous laughs and uproarious moments courtesy of Smith and Lawrence, as expected and adored by fans of the franchise. From the humorous opening scene, executed in true Mike and Marcus fashion as they race to Mike’s wedding, culminating in an unexpected twist as he ties the knot with the newly introduced love interest, Christine (portrayed by Melanie Liburd), to the delightful banter between them and John Salley, reprising his role from the first two films. The film is brimming with hilarious moments that keep audiences engaged and entertained throughout. Salley is a scenestealer who needs more moments to shine because he had me howling.

Tiffany Haddish also makes a cameo in Bad Boys: Ride or Die, which is mostly unnecessary. She seems  to just be playing an even more exaggerated version of herself. Another cameo comes from DJ Khaled, whose character tries to be humorous but falls flat. While their appearances may not be the most memorable aspect of the film, they certainly contribute to its star-studded appeal and offer fans a chance to see recognizable celebs in unexpected roles. I was also very happy to see silent TikToker Khabane Lame appear in a cheeky bit within the film. If you don’t know Lame, he is the second most-followed personality on the app and deserves all the things. His cameo was the most impactful for me and I’m so glad even more people are going to be introduced to him. 

The turning point in the film comes during the wedding reception, where Marcus ends up having a heart attack and has a hallucination or what appears to be a visit to purgatory . He comes face to face with Captain Conrad Howard who whispers “it’s not your time yet. Mike will have to face a major decision soon” which becomes the emotional anchorntire theme  for the rest of the film and shares his time isn’t yet.

After Marcus survives his heart attack, the detectives are met with a new case: clear Howard’s name from the grave. When the police department refuses to believe their former boss is innocent, his daughter, U.S. Marshall Agent Judy Howard (played by Rhea Seehorn), is determined to uncover the truth herself, no matter what it takes. 

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A pivotal factor in the film’s potential success lies in its innovative use of first-person POV cinematography. This stylistic choice immerses viewers in the heart of the action, evoking the sensation of being in a virtual reality shooting game. Even the behind-the-scenes footage shared by Smith on social media fails to capture the full impact of this visceral experience. The result is a cinematic journey that feels reminiscent of the adrenaline-pumping scenes found in popular video games like Call of Duty or Battlefield. Compared to its predecessors, the production value of this installment has been significantly elevated. Personally, I found myself completely engrossed, feeling as though I were in an arcade, spending hours immersed in the captivating gameplay. This fresh approach adds a dynamic layer to the film. It’s a technique that, while other filmmakers have attempted, has the potential to revolutionize the way a new crop of action films are experienced.

In a scene from the film, there’s a moment that seems to nod to Smith’s infamous Oscars slap. Smith’s character, Mike Lowery, finds himself frantic during a shootout, and just as he’s about to lose consciousness, Lawrence’s character, Marcus, smacks him repeatedly to bring him back to reality. It’s a comedic moment, and critics and fans who attended advanced screenings are speculating that Smith might be poking fun at his own real-life incident. Knowing Smith’s playful nature, it wouldn’t be surprising if he decided to get ahead of the joke and show everyone he’s moved past the drama. I found it hilarious and a clever way for Smith to address the situation. It’s lighthearted, funny, and hopefully, it helps everyone else move past it too.

One of the most captivating moments in the film unfolds in a surprising twist that doesn’t involve the leading stars, Smith or Lawrence. Enter Reggie, portrayed by Dennis Greene, whose character arc takes center stage in a breathtaking sequence. From his humble beginnings as a shy love interest to his transformation into a Marine staff sergeant, Reggie’s journey comes full circle as he steps up to protect Marcus’s wife, Theresa, and daughter, Megan.

The ensuing fight scene is a tour de force of action and intensity, lasting a thrilling two to three  minutes. As Mike and Marcus watch on, even they are left stunned by Reggie’s fearless display of combat prowess. This scene had me and my boyfriend on the edge of our seats, gripping each other’s hands in suspense.

But it’s the culmination of this sequence that truly resonates emotionally, as Mike and Marcus acknowledge Reggie’s valor and grant him the respect he deserves.  Reggie’s standout performance is a testament to the film’s rich character development and adds a layer of complexity to the story. It’s moments like these that elevate Bad Boys: Ride or Die from a standard action flick to a cinematic experience that’s as emotionally resonant as it is thrilling. 

Lawrence and Smith are also at their best in these moments, delivering performances that are both action-packed and deeply engaging. Their chemistry has only grown stronger over the years, making every scene they share a delight to watch. The dynamic duo brings an energy and charisma to the screen that underscores why they were the perfect choices for these roles. Originally, Dana Carvey and Jon Lovitz were considered for the “Bad Boys” franchise, but it’s hard for me to imagine anyone but Smith and Lawrence embodying Mike Lowery and Marcus Burnett. Their partnership is a masterclass in comedic timing and action hero prowess, creating a balance that keeps the audience both laughing and on the edge of their seats. It feels like I’m watching me and one of my buddies shooting the shit.

Smith has always been the world’s A-list action hero, and despite the harsh criticisms he’s dealt with over the past two years, it’s beautiful for me to see the man that has paved the way for so many of us to thrive and show people why he is stamped and is here to stay. Smith is a natural onscreen and offscreen, so of course he had to make sure to elevate the franchise with this installment. 

Bad Boys: Ride or Die surpasses its predecessor and emerges as a standout installment in the franchise. With its gripping storyline, compelling character development, and pulse-pounding action sequences, it sets a new standard for excellence. As a fan, I can’t help but wonder how they’ll top this one if a fifth installment is greenlit. Both Smith and Lawrence have teased that this isn’t the last time they’ll team up for the franchise.

Ultimately, Bad Boys: Ride or Die is a triumph of storytelling and spectacle, leaving audiences eagerly anticipating what’s next for Marcus, Mike, and the rest of the crew. It’s a testament to the franchise’s — and Will Smith’s — enduring legacy and a thrilling addition that will undoubtedly stand the test of time.

Bad Boys: Ride or Die is now playing in international  theaters and in the U.S. tomorrow, Friday, June 7th.

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"A Thousand And One" Portrays Black Women’s Rage

Minor spoilers ahead. If you’ve read Candice Carty-Williams’ acclaimed novel Queenie, you know that its titular character Queenie Jenkins is a mess. Not in the aw-she-spilled-coffee-on-herself cute way that “messy” female characters in rom-coms tend to be. No, she’s a mess in the sleep-with-inappropriate-men-and-self-sabotage kind of way. In the Hulu adaptation of the beloved (and much talked about) book, Dionne Brown plays the 25-year-old walking catastrophe with depth and intelligence, portraying the quiet storm of anxiety and self-doubt brewing behind every bad decision with emotional precision. This is a woman in the midst of a quarter-life crisis who has yet to confront the demons of her tumultuous childhood — all while going through a messy breakup, experiencing an unexpected miscarriage, and dealing with the structural frustrations of navigating a predominantly white workplace in London. It’s A LOT. Some of Queenie’s growing pains are hard — and frustrating — to watch, but they feel real, no matter how uncomfortable. Imagine there was a camera on all of your mid-twenties mistakes… 

“Leave her alone, because If we spill your tea, it would be real hot, and piping, and delicious for us to consume,” R&B star turned TV scenestealer, Bellah, tells me during a press trip put on by Onyx Collective which brought media and influencers from around the world together in South London for a couple of incredible days immersed in Queenie’s world. Bellah plays Queenie’s ride-or-die Kyazike and her passionate defense of the character (who has faced criticism and an onslaught of discourse since the book was released in 2019) is spoken like a true best friend. “Shut up, go outside, touch grass, let her do her thing. It’s okay to be messy. She’ll get it together.  And even if she doesn’t, mind your business.” Bellah’s no-bullshit, hilarious delivery in person is similar to that of her character who, at every wrong turn, is there trying to steer Queenie back to her path — or enabling her to keep going sideways, like a proper friend. Kyazike playfully ribs Queenie about her interest in white men (she refers to her ex Tom as her “mayo mister” and a “parchment paper Papi”) and is the only person in her life who points out how destructive her seeking validation in white men really is, but she’s also the person who is ready to pick up the pieces when things go really left.

Leave [Queenie] alone, because If we spill your tea, it would be real hot, and piping, and delicious for us to consume.

bellah in defense of queenie jenkins

It’s in this sisterhood where Queenie, the series, really shines. Queenie’s group chat, dubbed “The Corgis” is where she dumps all her problems and their reactions mirror that of the audience – there are times when you want to hug the character, and times when you want to yell at her that she’s fucking up. Hard. I got to spend a few days with a group of other journalists, media folks, and influencers (the trip kicked off with a Queenie-inspired slumber party) and as we discussed the series in between various activities in London, it was clear that all of us could relate in some way to Queenie’s struggle. We even did a TikTok about each of our quarter life crises that had commenters sharing they felt seen and heard by the discussion of the struggle your twenties can bring, especially coming from Black women. I anticipate that reactions to the show are going to be strong — people want complicated Black female characters until they actually get them — but one thing you can’t deny is that Queenie stands apart as a young Black woman who is constantly failing and fumbling through life while working through trauma, something we still too rarely see on TV. Love her or hate her, Queenie exists in all her fledgling glory. She’s not excellent (yet) or invincible (despite what her recklessness may suggest) or particularly strong (it’s all a front) and yet, she is a Black woman character on TV. What a concept. It might be tough to watch someone you are rooting for get treated poorly by men – white men at that – over and over, but that’s unfortunately the reality Queenie has created because it’s what she thinks she deserves. Add daddy issues on top of that, and it’s a recipe for disaster. From rock bottom is where Queenie rebuilds herself, and finds love — Black love at that – but the journey to get there is uncomfortable. As Brown put it during one of the panel discussions during the press trip, “Bad choices make good stories.” 

Carty-Williams, who birthed Queenie but also views her as “a little sister at this point,” is also prepared to defend her character. “She’s 25. She’s just someone who is surviving, so give her grace or don’t. But she’s still gonna be here, because she exists in all of us,” Carty-Williams said. “In talking about [the show] and what people think about it, it’s interesting that no one ever questions what the men are doing. They always question Queenie. I’m like, wait, so they can do anything they want. And we’re going to question her for letting it happen?” Carty-Williams asks rhetorically. “The patriarchy is constantly striking again [and] I am always protecting Queenie’s right to exist messily…. Queenie is someone who’s always putting herself second because she’s like, if I let him do this, would he like me? If I let him say this, would he like me? If I don’t challenge anything, he will like me. But you need to be with someone who’s going to treat you well, despite the things that you demand from them. Queenie is not quite there yet, because she’s 25.” 

Queenie works as a social media manager at a London-based publication and when she’s placed on leave due to an incident with a coworker (yes, it involved sex in a bathroom… at work), she takes an interim position at a coffee shop. During our tour of Queenie’s London, we actually got to stop in at F.Monday’s cafe which is the same shop where Queenie works after she’s been suspended from her job. Walking through the small shop lined with shelves of mundane snacks and fresh pastries, you can imagine any young woman trying to get back on her feet behind the counter of a coffee shop just like this one. Bellah, who writes songs about coming of age in your twenties, as well as starring in a show about this specific time period, explained why it’s such fertile ground for storytelling. “I think for everybody, specifically Black women, it is such an interesting time to explore because you are finding yourself in such a radical way. And the outside is forming you in ways that you don’t know the outside is forming you.” 

Bad choices make good stories.

‘queenie’ star dionne brown

Queenie’s external problems, the ways in which the outside world is informing her, is where most of her struggles stem from. Candice Frederick, senior culture reporter at Buzzfeed, wrote on Twitter (now called X) that her issue with the series is that “[Queenie] exists in a mostly white world — socially, professionally and romantically — and never really challenges that, even amid her season-long spiral.” It’s a fair callout, and I always value Frederick’s opinion, but there are many Black women in the same situation as Queenie, who have found themselves immersed in a white world, either by design or simply by proximity, who don’t have the self confidence to question their surroundings or the wherewithal to extricate themselves from them. So often, we see interracial relationships on TV between white men and Black women depicted as uncomplicated post-racial utopias and happily ever afters. Rarely do we see them portrayed as cautionary tales. Through Queenie, we finally get a look at the dark side of pairings like these, and how Black women can be used, fetishized and discarded. I would argue that as Queenie seeks help in therapy, she does start to challenge this world of whiteness. She starts to confront why she was using sex — especially sex she wasn’t even enjoying — to try to block out her emotions. She was seeking validation in the wrong places because of her past. Her trauma made it impossible for her to reckon with the harm she was causing to herself and to others. 

It’s through her British Jamaican family (episode 6, which focuses solely on Queenie’s family, is my favorite of the season) that she finds her way back and works through her trauma. It’s a mental health journey rooted in community and overcoming PTSD caused by familial wounds, but also by being a Black woman dating white men and a Black woman in a white workplace. Queenie does challenge both — she quits her job and drops one of her white woman friends after she blames Queenie for her cheating boyfriend’s actions — and ultimately, she finds love with Frank, a Black man who had been crushing on her all along and strength from her family. Her grandparents steal every scene they’re in, and one in particular with her grandfather Wilfred (former Fresh Prince of Bel-Air star Joseph Marcell) made me cry. Queenie’s healing journey to self-love is rocky and nonlinear, but it’s satisfying. 

The patriarchy is constantly striking again [and] I am always protecting Queenie’s right to exist messily.

‘queenie’ author candice carty-williams

“When you really start to try to at least figure out how to accept yourself, there’s something in you that just starts to get a bit calmer — there’s a tightness in your chest that just goes away,” Brown said of Queenie’s journey. “Because you’re just starting to accept yourself and understand things that are wrong, [and] the things that are right. When you focus on the things that are right more, that’s self love.” 

When Queenie starts to accept herself, it’s beautiful to witness. As we were walking the same streets in London that the character did too, it felt like we were on the journey with her (with a lot less mess) and getting the chance to straddle the worlds — we ate at a few delicious British Jamaican spots that I’m sure could rival Queenie’s grandma’s cooking — that the character clumsily navigates. I feel fiercely defensive of Queenie, like I’m a member of the Corgis group chat myself, and not just because I got a free trip to London. Since I read her story in the pages of Carty-Williams’ novel, Queenie has felt like a friend, and a familiar face whose mishaps can be used as a roadmap to find your way home to yourself. 

As for how the show will be received, Brown has a healthy outlook — one that a post-therapy, more enlightened Queenie may have embraced. “I can’t actually move forward with concerning myself about the opinions of other people,” Brown said. “Obviously we all want to make good work. Obviously we want our work to resonate and we want our art to be received, and we want people to like it. But if people don’t, that’s fine. And I think in that it’s just attachment. You know what I mean? It’s just like, if it lands it lands and if it doesn’t, that’s okay. I can’t actually move forward with concerning myself about the opinions of other people,” she said. “Obviously, we all want to make good work. Obviously, we want our work to resonate and be received by people and for them to like it. But if people don’t, that’s fine. If it lands it lands and if it doesn’t, that’s okay.”

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Trigger warning: This story mentions suicide. 

If there’s one trait that actor Devery Jacobs shares with the queer, Indigenous cheerleader they play in the new movie Backspot, it’s their determination and commitment. It’s not just that our video call takes place at 7 a.m. on a Monday and that they show up alert and enthusiastic to spend the next hour talking to me. Nor is it that Backspot, which is set in the high-stress world of high school competitive cheerleading (and which Jacobs co-produced as well as stars in), was shot over just 17 days of demanding filming. It’s also that it took Jacobs and director D.W. Waterson over six years to bring it to life, determined to make exactly the movie they wanted without compromising.

“It was important to me to be able to play a role that touched on my identity,” says Jacobs (whose pronouns are she/they). Best known for her critically acclaimed turn in Reservation Dogs, in Backspot, Jacobs takes on the role of a driven teenager who struggles to handle the pressure when she is promoted to an elite cheer squad that trains under a formidable coach played by Evan Rachel Wood.

Cheerleading films are far from unique — Bring It On, Sugar & Spice, and more recently Netflix’s docuseries Cheer come to mind. But they often present a very narrow view of who stands on top of the pyramid (read: white). Jacobs recounts some of the ‘no’s they got — like the time an investor told them they liked the film but couldn’t put the money behind it because they “just didn’t understand why the protagonist was Indigenous.” 

Then, in 2021, Elliot Page came on board as an executive producer. The backing of Pageboy Productions made it easier to find funders who weren’t confused by the idea that Riley could be both a queer cheerleader and Mohawk. Jacobs, who was a provincial champion gymnast when growing up in Kahnawà:ke Mohawk Territory near Montreal, Canada, and now lives in Toronto, points out the absurdity of such thinking: “Nobody at any meets ever stopped me and was like, ‘but why are you Native though?’”

The expectations Jacobs faces — for who they should be and what characters they should play — is something they’re still unpacking. “As an athlete, as a queer person, I don’t think anybody was looking at me and saying ‘queer cheerleader,’ but it’s so much a part of me and the story that I wanted to tell.”

Backspot adds to Jacob’s repertoire of roles that challenge the narrow view of who Indigenous people are and what their lives look like. And breaking down those assumptions has been part of their work even before they started acting. “It’s a responsibility that I’m happy to take on because there is so little representation. […] So much of my work growing up was around education for Indigenous communities and Indigenous rights, so it’s something that’s inherently a part of me.”

Prior to Backspot, Jacobs worked on fantasy drama series American Gods (based on the Neil Gaiman novel of the same name) and, most recently, in the acclaimed Taika Waititi-co-created series Reservation Dogs, which ran for three seasons. Jacobs joined the Reservation Dogs writers’ room in season two and also directed an episode on season three. Rae, the short they wrote and directed as well as starred in, won best youth work at the imagineNATIVE Film and Media Arts Festival in 2017. 

With their impressive list of credits, it’s no surprise that earlier this year Jacobs was named a co-winner, alongside Lamar Johnson, of the Radius Award at the Canadian Screen Awards, which honors people whose work is making waves globally. 

Having started out acting in 2007, Jacobs was still a student at John Abbott College in Québec when they landed their first lead role in Rhymes for Young Ghouls in 2013. They had recurring roles in horror drama The Order and sitcom Rutherford Falls, and starred in The Sun at Midnight and This Place. Jacobs has also played two different characters in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, voicing Mohawk superhero Kahhori in What If…? and playing Bonnie in Disney+ miniseries Echo.

Backspot, which premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival last year, aims to capture what it’s like to be a queer teenager today (albeit, as Jacobs acknowledges, without exploring the legislation currently targeting queer and trans athletes). The film follows Jacobs as Riley as she navigates her anxiety, perfectionism, and growing need to impress her demanding, even sadistic, cheerleading coach, Eileen. 

So often romantic relationships are really highlighted in films about queerness, but we are not only in romantic relationships.

Devery Jacobs

It was important for both Jacobs and Waterson that conflict in Backspot didn’t come from the characters’ queerness. Riley is already out at the start of the film, and her coming of age story has nothing to do with her sexuality. Instead, the film explores the platonic relationship between Riley and her queer coach. “So often romantic relationships are really highlighted in films about queerness, but we are not only in romantic relationships,” Jacobs explains. “We are in the queer community […] and in Backspot, we wanted to unpack what that mentor-mentee, coach and athlete relationship might look like, specifically for queer femmes.”

Elliot Page, speaking to Refinery29 via email, agrees that creating the space to explore different kinds of relationships in the queer community is important “because that is life, our lives, our community. Queer friendships help one thrive by offering hope, reflection, possibility, love and family. It is a delight to see it on screen.”

“There are so few queer, Native characters who are not undergoing mass trauma in media,” says Jacobs. “The fact that we get to highlight an Indigenous queer character that isn’t dealing with those things is — for me — a celebration in and of itself.”

Jacobs has helped to portray these themes in previous projects, like exploring the prominence of suicide in Indigenous communities in Reservation Dogs. (They point to a report from The Trevor Project that found Indigenous LGBTQ+ young people face significantly higher suicide risk than their non-Indigenous peers.) However, they’re excited that Backspot centers queer joy — just like they bring behind the scenes. “Devery is kind, present, brilliant and hilarious. It has been such a joy getting to know her,” Page says. He agrees Jacobs certainly shares certain traits with the character they play in the film: “In terms of Riley and Devery, they are both deeply committed and are both such hard workers. Devery possesses an inner knowing and self-assuredness that Riley has not yet reached.”

Jacobs’ self-assuredness has come, at least in part, from surrounding themselves with a community of people who are Indigiqueer and/or Two-Spirit. (Two-Spirit is an umbrella term of Indigenous gender diverse identities.) Jacobs describes themselves as an introvert, and has a tight-knit group of friends. “Queer community feels like support, like a safety net,” they say. “It looks like being surrounded by people who are looking within themselves and being utterly honest with who they are, with each other, with how they view the world.” 

Playing Two-Spirit character Sam Black Crow in STARZ’s American Gods prompted a number of questions about Jacobs’ own gender. Jacobs says their queer identity is “intrinsically entwined” with their Indigenous identity, but they’re still navigating their gender. “I’m still on my journey of figuring out how I identify and what makes the most sense for me, and it’s sometimes challenging to be a public figure and to do that in the public eye.”

However, Jacobs also feels a responsibility to be open about their queerness. They hope to be a mentor, the queer elder they never had when they were younger, to many queer and trans people in their life — and they already are. Elva Guerra, who starred alongside Jacobs in Reservation Dogs, says that they were a “beacon of hope for LGBTQ+ people on set.” 

“They were always helping someone feel more confident in their skin. [Jacobs] told me many times I don’t need to conform to any ‘norms’ in the industry,” Guerra continues. “They always used my correct pronouns and corrected others. They made me feel like I was normal in a very heteronormative space.”

Backspot is the antithesis of a heteronormative space. As Riley, Jacobs adds to a long legacy of queer cheerleaders in film and TV — as does their on-screen girlfriend, Amanda, played by Kudakwashe Rutendo. Jacobs personally relates most to Megan (Natasha Lyonne) in the 1999 queer classic But I’m a Cheerleader, though they think Riley is more like Glee’s Santana Lopez (Naya Rivera) with her determination, ambition, and resolute love for her girlfriend. Yet Backspot also deliberately turns so many aspects of a more traditional cheerleading movie on its head. The high ponies, short skirts, and pompoms many of us associate with cheerleading are nowhere to be seen.

Nor are the cheerleaders sexualized; instead the film explores the gritty, grueling athleticism of the sport, with the cheerleaders pushing their bodies to the limit and beyond. Not that the deliberate subversion of the male gaze means that queer audiences won’t find parts of the Backspot sexy. “The thing that people are finding most hot, which is very telling,” Jacobs explains, “is just how mean Evan Rachel Wood’s character, Coach Eileen, is. Everyone’s like, ‘I want her to yell at me like that.’” 

Jacobs shares that one of their favorite scenes in the film is when Riley doesn’t hide how hard she’s working to pull off the intense routine, despite having been berated by Coach Eileen earlier for not making it look effortless. “I love how Riley, in her final cheer performance, doesn’t smile,” Jacob says. “She makes it look just as challenging as the sport actually is.”

It’s another trait Jacobs shares with their character Riley. It’s not that they make talking about the film look demanding — despite how early it still is in their time zone — but they’re not afraid to show how much they care. Their dedication to showing up for younger generations of queer people is written across their face throughout our conversation. “Sometimes baby queers just need an elder queer to be like, […] ‘You’re gonna be okay.’”

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I am, without a doubt, a chronic people-pleaser. It’s odd, because I wouldn’t say that I’m scared of confrontation, but there’s something in me that just struggles to say “no” at times. There’s no greater example of this than when I’m sat in a hairdresser’s chair. Oh, you want to chop my hair off until it reaches my ears? Why of course! I only wanted a trim, but no worries if not — whatever you think is best. 

It’s for this reason that I’ve broken up with a fair few hairdressers (if you’re reading this, I’m sorry!). I mean, how could I possibly tell a seasoned hairdresser — an artist — that I don’t like their work? The answer is simple: I can’t, especially when hairdressers endure so much already. According to Head Up, an initiative spotlighting salon workers’ mental health, 65% of hair professionals surveyed experience anxiety, burnout or depression. What’s more, hairdressers had to endure so much during the coronavirus lockdown; professionals were forced out of work and salons fought to stay open.

That unprecedented time taught us so much, not least the importance of hair as a tool for self-expression. But this is nothing new; there is an abundance of research linking hair to confidence. A 2022 study carried out by insights agency Opinium concluded that “good hair days” boost self-esteem. Then there’s the utter minefield that Black women have to wade through. A 2023 study reported that facing hair discrimination prompts many Black women to style their hair against their natural preferences, exposing them to intense heat and various ingredients inside hair relaxers, for instance, which are often linked to negative side effects. Add to this the rise of “Instagram hairstylists” where bad customer service, last minute cancellations and excessive fees are common, and it’s no surprise that loyalties are being abandoned. The bottom line is that your hair holds social and cultural significance, and affects the way you feel. Anyone who’s had a “bad” cut or color will know that it can spring forth tears and shatter your self-esteem.

Ahead, 11 women, who preferred not to share their surnames, tell us about the exact moments they broke up with their hairdressers.

These stories were told to Humeara Mohamed and Jacqueline Kilikita and have been edited for length and clarity.

A lot of braiders are self-taught and there’s nothing wrong with that, but they might not have a good understanding of what your hair and scalp actually needs, from a scientific point of view.

Denisha

“I left my braider recently. As a Black woman, I’m used to pain when getting my hair braided. I’m used to not sleeping properly for a few days afterwards because my hair is so tight and my scalp is burning. It’s like hairdressers don’t realize they’re tugging on your hair and scalp, and that this can cause traction alopecia. I know people whose hairlines have receded because of aggressive mistreatment or relaxers. When I was younger and I’d get my hair relaxed, it would burn. Hairdressers would say, ‘It’s just working. It’s normal,’ and they’d leave it on. It’s suspected that some questionable chemicals in relaxers can contribute to hormone imbalances or endocrine disorders and fibroids.

“Now, I get my hair loc’d by a loctician who doesn’t pull it too tight, and my scalp is happier. I’ve noticed my hair feels a lot healthier and I can see new growth. I leave it about two or three months before I get my hair retwisted, so there’s quite a bit of time between appointments when my scalp and hair aren’t being manipulated or styled. My loctician doesn’t twist too tight and she uses a little bit of jojoba oil — no heavy creams. With previous hairdressers, my hair would be blowdried before braiding and they’d use so many greasy scalp creams, which wouldn’t work with my sensitive skin. A lot of braiders are self-taught and there’s nothing wrong with that, but they might not have a good understanding of what your hair and scalp actually needs, from a scientific point of view. There are ways to minimize traction alopecia and avoid dermatological issues, for example. I have a four-year-old daughter, and while her hair is a different texture to mine, if she grows up and wants to go to the hairdressers I’ll caution her, ‘It’s all trial and error.’ I’d prefer if she learned to take care of her hair herself.”

I wasn’t their usual clientele, which is white.

Sanya

“I’d been going to the same salon for years and they’d recently hired a new stylist. I’m Iranian and I have very thick, long hair; I wasn’t their usual clientele, which is white. This new stylist assumed I had thin hair and squeezed me into a shorter slot. They rushed through it all. The trim was meh — it was a blunt cut, which I didn’t like. It felt like they didn’t understand my thick hair. They didn’t even have time to blowdry it and I went home with wet hair! I didn’t feel great from the moment I sat down at the backwash; the stylist was talking to her colleagues and I just wanted her to pay attention to me. Now I travel for hours from London to Bedford to get my hair done with a hairdresser that my sister recommended. He actually understands my hair type, like how to layer it and what products to use. I’ve been going to him for two years now. He makes me feel really comfortable and looked after too.”

The salon is meant to be a safe space for me where I can unwind, but this felt like such hard work and exacerbated my anxiety.

Jacqui

“Every time I went to my hairdresser, she would unload on me. I’ve since discovered that this is ‘trauma dumping’ and that it’s often the other way around (client dumping on hairdresser) but I always happened to be on the receiving end. She’d tell me about her relationship struggles, health issues and even bad mouth other clients to me. At first, I tried to give her advice, but as it went on, I was careful not to reciprocate or share my thoughts and opinions for fear of upsetting her. There are only so many times you can say, ‘Oh no!’ or ‘Ugh, I’m sorry to hear that,’ before it becomes exhausting.

“The salon is meant to be a safe space for me where I can unwind, but this felt like such hard work and exacerbated my anxiety. Now, I go to a salon with hairdressers who understand that I like some quiet time. A little bit of gossip is great, but I don’t want to have to assume the role of a therapist. I also love that some salons have introduced the ‘silent haircut’ which is a service where you can opt out of general chit-chat. Talking constantly can be absolutely draining.”

My hair started to melt away in straggly clumps at the backwash. The colorist was horrified.

Amber*

“This one is entirely my fault. Like lots of people, I experimented with bleach highlights in my twenties. My hair became so dry and brassy and the maintenance was ridiculous (good purple shampoo is expensive!), so I dyed over it with a dark brunette box dye that I bought from Boots. I soon changed my mind and decided to treat myself by booking into a local salon where I asked for ‘caramel balayage’, which I’d seen trending on Instagram. The colorist quizzed me and asked if my hair had been dyed recently but I lied about the bleach because I was so desperate for a color refresh. Long story short, more bleach was applied and my hair started to melt away in straggly clumps at the backwash. The colorist was horrified. In the end, I had to have a ‘chemical cut’ and lop about four inches off. I was so embarrassed that I never went back. The salon was on my local high street and I used to cross the road to avoid being seen by the salon staff. Moral of the story: always be honest with your colorist!”

I noticed he’d unfollowed me on Instagram and unfriended me on Facebook.

Amanda*

“I saw the same hairdresser for years. He was really good — always very funny and bubbly. After a while, he contacted me from his personal number to say he was leaving the salon to go solo. He said he wanted to retain his regulars and that he was now working with his partner (who was also a hairdresser) from his house. 

It was now a bit of a trek for me involving trains and taxis, but I wanted to support him. Then he started to act a little strange. There were a few rude comments here and there, and he’d talk about himself for hours on end — to the point where I’d leave feeling completely exhausted. Once, he’d barely finished my hair before announcing that he had to rush off, leaving me standing on his doorstep waiting for a taxi. His partner was also rude. I had a perm and I said I fancied a change, to which he replied with, ‘Well, you can only keep doing that Stevie Nicks look for so long.’

“He moved again after that, and I followed him again. He didn’t stay there for very long. When he said he was moving on again, I asked him where he was going. When he didn’t reply, I decided to go elsewhere. Within a few weeks, I noticed he’d unfollowed me on Instagram and unfriended me on Facebook. It was all very odd!”

I looked like the mushroom from Mario Kart.

Georgia  

“I went for a full cut and asked for ‘long Dakota Johnson hair’ but my fringe was completely ruined. It was like a bowl cut and I looked like the mushroom from Mario Kart. The fringe went all the way round to my ears and I felt like I was part of the Winkleverse [a viral TikTok trend where people pinpoint celebrities they believe to be parallel universe versions of UK-based TV presenter Claudia Winkleman]. It took a year (and counting) to grow out. In that time, I jumped around Edinburgh to find a new hairdresser until I landed on one I liked, but I was miserable for so long. My new hairdresser was like, ‘We just need to let that grow. Only time can fix that.’”

She’d comment on my weight.

Andrea

“I’d regularly book a freelance hairdresser to cut my hair and keep my keratin treatment topped up at home. After a few sessions, I noticed that she started to ask me really personal questions. I was newly divorced at the time and she wanted to know if I was seeing anyone. The questions then extended to my children. I’d answer her questions the best as I could without revealing too much, but I thought she was overly interested. I’m a former hairdresser myself, so I know it’s easy to get too close. After a few appointments it seemed like she was too distracted by the gossip to be bothered about what she was doing with my hair and she just wasn’t listening. I wanted my hair to be shoulder length, and when she was done, it would be collarbone length. It would take me so long to grow it back that it put me off wanting to call her. When I questioned her, she’d give me all this spiel about how my hair was damaged and that it would grow back healthier this way. I’m convinced she simply wasn’t concentrating because she was talking so much. Another thing that bothered me is that she’d comment on my weight and the food in my kitchen because that’s where she used to cut my hair. I put up with the bad behavior as she was much more affordable than everyone else, but the pandemic made me realize that I could do my hair myself — especially the color. The Clairol Blonde It Up is particularly excellent. It’s gentle on the hair and lifts existing highlights really well.”

I didn’t think she was being fair.

Hannah*  

“Back when we were in between lockdowns and varying COVID-19 isolation rules, I had an appointment booked with a hairdresser whom I’d been seeing for months. Two days before, I tested positive for COVID-19. I instantly let her know and asked if I could move my appointment, but she said no, and that my £70 (approximately $89) deposit wouldn’t be refunded. I was shocked, because it wasn’t something I could help, and I was literally not allowed to leave the house. But that is a lot of money, so I said I’d be willing to come in anyway. She said that she didn’t want me to because she didn’t feel comfortable with it. Let’s just say I didn’t think she was being fair, especially because I gave her enough notice to book someone else, and I never saw her again.”

It was a nightmare and it felt pretty dramatic.

Emily*  

“I’d been going to this hairdresser for ten years, maybe more, and he cancelled on me the day before my wedding because he had a bad back. To be fair, I do think he probably needed to cancel, but he could’ve given me a bit more warning. There was also a train strike at the time of my wedding, so I couldn’t get someone else to my hair quickly. In the end, my stepmom drove two hours to London, picked up her hairdresser and their husband (who’s also a hairdresser), and they came and did the whole bridal party’s hair. They were amazing, so now I go to them instead. It was a nightmare at the time and it felt pretty dramatic.”

I just felt like my agency wasn’t respected.

Tanvi  

“My hairdresser was very, very good, but somehow they came to believe that they knew my hair and my struggles better than me. I have seborrheic dermatitis [a skin condition that affects the scalp resulting in dandruff, inflammation and dry skin] and a very sensitive scalp that hurts when subjected to the slightest pressure — even combing can hurt! My hairdresser thought that using a new shampoo (over the one I said would work for me) would be better, and I ended up with more scalp sensitivity and burning. They also took more length off than I’d requested because they assumed that less hair would mean less weight and therefore less sensitivity. I just felt like my agency wasn’t respected, so I simply never went back.”

It started to feel toxic.

Francesca  

“I left my hairdresser because she always did my hair in the same way and didn’t listen to what I actually wanted. She was a friend from school, so there was a lot of gossiping in the salon about people I knew and it started to feel toxic. The gossiping was mostly about my sister-in-law as they were both in the same school year. It was very bitchy at every single appointment – she always went back to the same topic. I had to get out. I didn’t tell her that I was going to leave. I just pretended to win a hair appointment with another hairdresser in a raffle and then ignored her messages.”

*Some names have been changed

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